Updated: Apr 21, 2020
That word. Research has proven that to have a spouse die is the #1 stressor on the body.
Read that again.
According to research, having a spouse die is the number one stressors in life: emotionally, physically, financially, socially, spiritually etc.
The most stressful thing on the emotions and body is to lose a spouse.
I think it’s because of the covenant of marriage. Married is a sacred union between a man and woman. It’s honored by God and joins two individual people together as one. It’s pretty special and reverenced.
Marriage is a different covenant than a blood relation with your parents, kids, and relatives.
So when that covenant is broken due to death- it’s as if someone has taken ½ of the person (spouse) away.
As a couple, you’ve learned to function as one. Taking two individuals and molding them into one is the beauty of marriage. It’s also the challenge. That new union takes time to mold and shape into a couple. #Marriages work smoother when there is a consensus over most, if not all major family decisions that affect the marriage and home.
Working in union doesn’t happen immediately but over time, through yielding, understanding, communication and much grace and love- two separate people become one. It’s an awesome experience to live through.
No wonder when one spouse dies- that union is broken. The remaining spouse is left alone. Alone to make decisions. Alone while sleeping. Alone while watching television and cooking. Alone. Alone wondering who they are now?
Everyone knows them as a couple. Now they’re a widow.
You don’t automatically function as an individual. You’re used to doing most things as a couple. Shopping for others, cooking for others, thinking as a unit.
Being a widow is something I too had to grow into. I had to learn to think independently again. To make major decisions without the comfort and safety of my husband to share in those decisions.
The stressors involved with learning how to maneuver through life alone, can manifest in mental and physical challenges. Insomnia, poor eating habits, anxiety, chronic tiredness to name a few symptoms.
Personally I have experienced numerous health challenges since 2015 when my husband of 23 years transitioned to heaven. Loss of hair, weight gain and loss, anxiety, feeling overwhelmed, depression, sciatic nerve pain, sleepless night etc. I, like others never expected the grief journey to be so intense to cause physical and such deep emotional pain. But it can and it may.
Through natural remedies and much prayer, I have been able to turn around many of the symptoms I experienced. It is my prayer to share many of these with you.
There is hope.
There is a horizon.